Electoral epigrams, 2015-2016 (GOP edition)

One per candidate:

Walker faced down a recall crisis
which voters declined to equate with ISIS.

Bush was judged dull, to his mishap:
He needed a bigger dose of clap.

How the GOP can stop Trump

It's obvious by now that barring a sudden radical winnowing of the Republican field, the nomination is Trump's. Therefore....

Cruz, Rubio and Kasich should meet a hold a lightning round of paper-scissor-rock to settle three positions in a unity ticket: president, vice president and secretary of state.

Each will have a much better chance of being nominated than any of them has now. If we're charitable, and assume that a solo rival would have a 50-50 shot at beating Trump, the casting of lots gives each a one-in-six chance of being the nominee -- and a 50/50 shot at standing for one of the highest offices in the land (they can play for Treasury if they prefer. Plus, their unity ticket would be les likely to shed supporters to Trump than any one would have by besting the others in coming weeks.

It might be objected that Kasich does not deserve to compete on equal terms, and Cruz and Rubio probably each believe as much about the other. But each at present has an equal chance (as far as can be discerned) of ruining the others' chances. In fact, all together are virtually certain to ruin the chances of all.

There's still Carson to be dealt with. But all three could pledge to plump for his books.

P.S. If Cruz and Rubio want to band together and insist that Kasich shouldn't get even odds, he could be pushed into doing a qualifying round. That is, he shoots once with either Cruz or Rubio. If he wins, he competes in the round of three on equal terms. If he loses, he goes to SecState (or Treasury), and Cruz and Rubio go one-on-one for prez-veep.

Five Republicans who are not democrats

Leave aside for a moment the favored policies of the ten Republican presidential candidates in the prime-time debate and the seven in the second-tier happy hour debate.  While there were very few actual policy differences, at least five candidates expressed startling contempt or disregard for the core structure of U.S. government, democratic constraints on the executive, international law, or the most basic standards of evidence for assertions made in public. 

Here's a quick look at five violations of the norms of democratic government as understood in the U.S. and internationally.

1. International law banning torture is not "brain surgery." Here's neurosurgeon Ben Carson responding to a question from Megyn Kelly: "As president,....would you bring back waterboarding?"

Alright. You know, what we do in order to get the information that we need is our business, and I wouldn't necessarily be broadcasting what we're going to do.(APPLAUSE)

We've gotten into this -- this mindset of fighting politically correct wars. There is no such thing as a politically correct war. (APPLAUSE)