Thursday, July 25, 2019

The Ten Counts of Obstruction (with apologies to Lin-Manuel...)

It's been said no one's read Mueller's 448-page report. Well but, the 8-page summaries of Parts 1 and 2 are pretty direct. Well but, that's still a lot of text.

So let's try it Lin-Manuel Miranda style (soundtrack here):

The Ten Counts of Obstruction

For the nation's instruction,
The ten counts of obstruction:

Number 1: 

Russian hacks electrify the nation.
Call it fake news while you seek more information.

Number 2

Summon Comey to the throne like you're royalty.
Tell him you demand unconditional loyalty.

Number 3

Your AG is advised to recuse
When he complies, shower him with abuse.

Vent to your counsel without circumspection:
"Sessions' one job is my personal protection."

Number 4

Comey says you're no target; cling to this.
When that begins to change, begin to boo and hiss.

When he won't give Congress the assurance you require
Damn the torpedoes -- it's time to fire.

Number 5

Mueller's appointed! Time to freak out.
Take it Twitter and ream Sessions out.

Demand that McGahn call Mueller conflicted.
"Throw dirt on him, whatever the dick did."

Number 6

Curtail the investigation (you can't stop it),
Try once more to make Sessions your puppet.

Tell him to declare the whole thing unfair
(this effort fails, but that's not here or there).

Number 7

Media is sniffing round the Trump Tower meeting
Hope Hicks warns that you're in for a beating.

Horn in and alter the White House release:
"It was all about adoption, love and peace."

Number 8

Jeffrey Sessions will not take your hintin'.
Demand he investigate Hillary Clinton.

Number 9

Deny that you tried to get Mueller fired...
Tell McGahn to declare you never aspired...

Number 10

It takes no genius to deduct this:
President Trump obstructed justice.

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