Wait, no, this can't be my fifth year of #HealthPolicyValentines.* But yes: here is Love Knows No Repeal (2017), Love in the Time of Obamacare (2016), love, 2015, and first love, 2014.
And who'd have thought we'd have at least two Trump-era V-days with the ACA unrepealed? But here we are...
Spite is served hot,
Revenge is served cold.
Trump cut off CSR,
We got cheap bronze and gold.
* * *
Replace came up empty,
Repeal served up zeroes.
We love you, Little Lobbyists,
True national heroes.
* * *
Heller was craven,
Capito, afraid.
Collins, McCain, Murkowski
saved our Medicaid.
* * *
CMS,
a malevolent mess,
is totally out of hand-o.
We look forward in tears
oe'r an ocean of years
till it's run by Emma Sandoe.
* * *
When HHS obfuscates,
gaslights or encumbers
the flow of information,
Gaba has the numbers.
* * *
When health plans make our heads spin
and regulations bore us
we don't knock ourselves out...
we call Louise Norris.
* * *
When CSR was threatened,
progressives cried, "Oh no!"
But one guy saw the upside:
Dave Anderson, my jo.
(apologies to Robert Burns)
* * *
When healthcare Twitter
writhes with Trump-induced colic,
we're sometimes soothed and settled
with a tweet from Harold Pollack.
* * *
When Medicaid's enemies
with "data" come fakin'
their claims are exploded
by Sandoe & Goodman-Bacon
* * *
Stop ACA repeal?
The prospect seemed risible
till millions grabbed a handbook
and became Indivisible.
* * *
Medicare's nice
but it sure isn't free.
Beloved, hook me up
with some form of MSP.
* * *
Hollies are leafy,
maples are bare.
Let's keep evergreen
the promise of Medicare.
* * *
"This CMS email
is riddled with derp, Ma."
"Just cut to the chase
and sign up on HealthSherpa."
* * *
The ACA marketplace
is battered and scraggly.
To fend off further harm
retain Nicholas Bagley.
* * *
The sweetest healthcare measures
defy rhyme and scansion.
Take, for example,
Medicaid expansion.
* * *
When the U.S. healthcare system
sustains ten more years of trauma
and seems mangled beyond repair
we'll give it to Onceupona.
* * *
In the land of the free
twas a moment quite fine
when ADAPT's Medicaid defenders
put their bodies on the line.
* * *
"This health policy pablum
has a tang ersatz."
-- "Send it for inspection
to Margo Sanger-Katz."
* * *
For a bottomless chronicle
of unmitigated gall
and untrammeled greed
thanks, Elisabeth Rosenthal.
* * *
and a few not-valentines...
Medicaid's under assault,
the Marketplace, in distress.
A once-proud agency
is now a SeemaMess.
* * *
Bedtime healthcare worries!
I found myself dreamin'
we all paid a single payer:
Bezos-Buffet-Dimon.
* * *
If you think Medicaid
is improved by work requirement,
we'll work very hard
to require your retirement.
* * *
...and let me try a run of original-form professions of love one-on-one:
Our relationship's cured me
of glum navel-gazin'.
It's a mental health
main-ten-ance organization.
* * *
When you are in need
I'll always be there.
Count on me, Babe
for accountable care.
* * *
One plus one equals three.
That's my deduction.
Our partnership yields
true Cost Sharing Reduction.
* * *
In my heart's deepest chamber
your magic penny sits
yielding all kinds of
Essential Health Benefits.
* * *
White is the clematis,
Purple the wisteria.
You pervade my life like
beneficial bacteria.
--
* A tradition kicked off by Emma Sandoe, then at CMS, in 2012.
And who'd have thought we'd have at least two Trump-era V-days with the ACA unrepealed? But here we are...
Spite is served hot,
Revenge is served cold.
Trump cut off CSR,
We got cheap bronze and gold.
* * *
Replace came up empty,
Repeal served up zeroes.
We love you, Little Lobbyists,
True national heroes.
* * *
Heller was craven,
Capito, afraid.
Collins, McCain, Murkowski
saved our Medicaid.
* * *
CMS,
a malevolent mess,
is totally out of hand-o.
We look forward in tears
oe'r an ocean of years
till it's run by Emma Sandoe.
* * *
When HHS obfuscates,
gaslights or encumbers
the flow of information,
Gaba has the numbers.
* * *
When health plans make our heads spin
and regulations bore us
we don't knock ourselves out...
we call Louise Norris.
* * *
When CSR was threatened,
progressives cried, "Oh no!"
But one guy saw the upside:
Dave Anderson, my jo.
(apologies to Robert Burns)
* * *
When healthcare Twitter
writhes with Trump-induced colic,
we're sometimes soothed and settled
with a tweet from Harold Pollack.
* * *
When Medicaid's enemies
with "data" come fakin'
their claims are exploded
by Sandoe & Goodman-Bacon
* * *
Stop ACA repeal?
The prospect seemed risible
till millions grabbed a handbook
and became Indivisible.
* * *
Medicare's nice
but it sure isn't free.
Beloved, hook me up
with some form of MSP.
* * *
Hollies are leafy,
maples are bare.
Let's keep evergreen
the promise of Medicare.
* * *
"This CMS email
is riddled with derp, Ma."
"Just cut to the chase
and sign up on HealthSherpa."
* * *
The ACA marketplace
is battered and scraggly.
To fend off further harm
retain Nicholas Bagley.
* * *
The sweetest healthcare measures
defy rhyme and scansion.
Take, for example,
Medicaid expansion.
* * *
When the U.S. healthcare system
sustains ten more years of trauma
and seems mangled beyond repair
we'll give it to Onceupona.
* * *
In the land of the free
twas a moment quite fine
when ADAPT's Medicaid defenders
put their bodies on the line.
* * *
"This health policy pablum
has a tang ersatz."
-- "Send it for inspection
to Margo Sanger-Katz."
* * *
For a bottomless chronicle
of unmitigated gall
and untrammeled greed
thanks, Elisabeth Rosenthal.
* * *
and a few not-valentines...
Medicaid's under assault,
the Marketplace, in distress.
A once-proud agency
is now a SeemaMess.
* * *
Bedtime healthcare worries!
I found myself dreamin'
we all paid a single payer:
Bezos-Buffet-Dimon.
* * *
If you think Medicaid
is improved by work requirement,
we'll work very hard
to require your retirement.
* * *
...and let me try a run of original-form professions of love one-on-one:
Our relationship's cured me
of glum navel-gazin'.
It's a mental health
main-ten-ance organization.
* * *
When you are in need
I'll always be there.
Count on me, Babe
for accountable care.
* * *
One plus one equals three.
That's my deduction.
Our partnership yields
true Cost Sharing Reduction.
* * *
In my heart's deepest chamber
your magic penny sits
yielding all kinds of
Essential Health Benefits.
* * *
White is the clematis,
Purple the wisteria.
You pervade my life like
beneficial bacteria.
--
* A tradition kicked off by Emma Sandoe, then at CMS, in 2012.
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