Monday, August 31, 2015

Name Ohio "McKinley" -- and don't stop there!

Republicans, particularly Ohio Republicans, are of course up in arms about the Obama administration's announcement that it would use its executive authority to restore Mount McKinley (named in 1896 by a gold prospector who heard of the president-to-be's nomination) to its historic name, Denali, "the high one," as it had been known for centuries. Alaskans have requested the change for decades (and changed the name themselves via the state Board on Geographic Names in 1975), and (Republican) Senator Lisa Murkowski recorded a video thanking Obama for the change, but never mind.*  John Boehner, whose district is in Ohio, is "deeply disappointed" that McKinley's "great legacy" is losing a monument. Senator Rob Portman bemoans the diss of a "proud Ohioan" (while erroneously deeming the McKinley naming a post-assassination honor).

These complaints are disappointingly circumspect. It's time for presidential candidates to up the ante against the pandering president. Why focus on mere isolated slags of stone? Scratch a bit, and it seems a bunch of squish multiculturalists got hold of state naming boards when this country was young. Why not name all these states that ignore our European heritage and great legacy after (GOP) presidents?**

Alabama (Muskagean)
Alaska (Aleut)
Arkansas (Sioux)
Connecticut (Algonquian)
Hawaii (Polynesian)
Idaho (Comanche)
Illinois (Algonquian)
Iowa (Aiouan)
Kansas (Sioux)
Kentucky (Shawnee)
Massachusetts (Algonquian)
Michigan (Algonquian)
Minnesota (Sioux)
Mississippi (Algonquian)
Missouri  (Sioux)
Nebraska (Sioux)
New Mexico (Aztec)
N. Dakota (Dakota)
Ohio (Iroquoian)
Oklahoma (Choctaw)
Oregon (Algonquian - ?)
South Dakota (Dakota)
Tennessee (Cherokee)
Texas (Caddo)
Utah (Uto-Aztecan)
Wisconsin (native, unknown)
Wyoming (Algonquian)

We can start with Ohio, which will become, natch, McKinley. Got the itch, Kasich?***

*Never mind also the threat of climate change, which Obama's visit to the Arctic is designed to highlight.

** And veeps, cabinet secretaries etc. when the presidential list run dry.

*** To be fair, Kasich's "opposition" to the change does give off a guess-I've-got-to-play-along-with-this-crap vibe. 

1 comment:

  1. Fantastic idea! I'm an Ohio native, and am 100% behind this! I can hardly wait to be a McKinleyite! No more "what's round at the ends and high in the middle?" jokes!!!